Since it is now February let's talk about LOVE. First let me just say that we don't celebrate Valentine's day. In fact we have been known to forget that it is even a holiday. I don't want Ryan to spend extra money just because everyone else is buying into some made up holiday and spending crazy amounts on flowers and chocolate. I would rather he just tell me he loves me, or occasionally buy me flowers, or chocolate, or let me sleep in on a Saturday (did you read that honey, ha ha ha). I have no problem with others celebrating and I have been known to make a heart shaped cake or pancakes for the kids.
Love is a word that gets thrown around a lot. I love chocolate (do you seen a pattern), I love my life, I love my kids, I love my family, I love the Lord.....the use is endless, and I can think of several things that I LOVE. But is love easy? Is love never ending?
I will be the first one to say that I am not always easy to love (again, I can be mean, and fussy!) and I think most people would agree that loving someone is not always easy. It takes work. Someone the other day said she encourages young people to not get married young because it never works out. While I agree that marriage shouldn't be entered into lightly, I dislike when people use the word never or always. There are exceptions to the rules. Ryan and I met when I was 16 and we have changed a lot since we met. But one thing that didn't change was our desire to make our relationship work no matter what. This is the message that we should be sending, not some blanket statement that young marriages never work. Marriages are work no matter what age you are and it takes two people to make it work. Love has to be part of a marriage, but wow there is so much more! You need compromise, understanding, passion, and a will to make things work always. You need communication and you have to be willing to change with the other person because as life comes, you will change. I know Ryan and I have a long way to go before we can be "experts" on the subject of marriage, but I hope my kids look at our relationship and know that while marriage isn't easy it is totally worth it.
Is love never ending? Hmmmm I don't know. You can love someone even if they are not with you, but I don't know if love has an end. I hope that we will know love in all its forms in heaven so maybe it is never ending. I know for certain that God's love is never ending, he doesn't care how bad we mess up, he will always love us no matter what, which is a great feeling because as you all know now I mess up all the time.
Love you all!
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Motherhood "the crappy"
So I hope "crappy" doesn't offend anyone, but well it was the cleanest word I could think of. Motherhood is a job that no amount of reading, studying, or talking to others can prepare you for. It is ever changing, it is a marathon with no end, it is Mount Everest. While I love being a mother, I don't always love it. There are moments I think back on those carefree days of college and think "Wow, I wish to relive that for a day!". But the funny thing about motherhood is that I wouldn't change it for anything. It is truly the only job for me, and I do love it most of the time. However, there are moments that being a Mom is just no fun at all and I want to throw my hands in the air and scream "I QUIT!".
For example: When I give the big kids an asignment and I am met with screaming, fussing, throwing pencils/paper, and I HATE SCHOOL. All the while Jodie is in the bathroom and has peed in the floor because she has once again waited to long, and while I am cleaning up that mess Faith poops up her back and ruins another outfit. While I am changing her Ryan is calling wondering why I am not answering the phone. This now means I have to do laundry, clean the bathroom, along with the dishes, the floors, and get everyone ready to leave for some activity. By the time I am finished getting stuff cleaned up I have completely forgot that we were in the middle of school and by the time I get back to it, 3:00pm has snuck up on us and Ryan will be home in 15 minutes. The big kids are still upset about the assignment and I am ready to pull out all of my hair, and no amount of cleaning will make the house look clean unless the kids are in bed.
So now you know the truth of the Silverwood family! We may act like we have it all together, but it is just an act. We are usually fighting in the car on the way to church, or upset with each other when we pull into a parking lot. However, we get out do whatever it is we are going to do and resume the craziness when we get home. There are moments of pure bliss, but again those are always followed by moments of complete chaos. It is always loud and messy at our house, and I imagine when the kids are all grown we will look back on these days and miss them. However, right now we just want to survive :)
For example: When I give the big kids an asignment and I am met with screaming, fussing, throwing pencils/paper, and I HATE SCHOOL. All the while Jodie is in the bathroom and has peed in the floor because she has once again waited to long, and while I am cleaning up that mess Faith poops up her back and ruins another outfit. While I am changing her Ryan is calling wondering why I am not answering the phone. This now means I have to do laundry, clean the bathroom, along with the dishes, the floors, and get everyone ready to leave for some activity. By the time I am finished getting stuff cleaned up I have completely forgot that we were in the middle of school and by the time I get back to it, 3:00pm has snuck up on us and Ryan will be home in 15 minutes. The big kids are still upset about the assignment and I am ready to pull out all of my hair, and no amount of cleaning will make the house look clean unless the kids are in bed.
So now you know the truth of the Silverwood family! We may act like we have it all together, but it is just an act. We are usually fighting in the car on the way to church, or upset with each other when we pull into a parking lot. However, we get out do whatever it is we are going to do and resume the craziness when we get home. There are moments of pure bliss, but again those are always followed by moments of complete chaos. It is always loud and messy at our house, and I imagine when the kids are all grown we will look back on these days and miss them. However, right now we just want to survive :)
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Motherhood "the bad"
Why as mothers (or just women in general) do we feel it necessary to say we are fine even if we are not? I know that most people are just being polite when they say "how are you doing". So I almost always answer "I am great, or I am fine, or can't complain". Most days though I want to say "oh my goodness, I am losing my mind, or I wish someone would put me in a extended time out, or bring me chocolate and I will think about unlocking my self from the bathroom." People also ask "how's school going", to which I always reply "great, so much better than last year.", but some days I want to say "horrible, I hate it, or "man I wish I felt right about just putting them back into public school and calling it quits, or school, what's that?"
This week alone I texted Ryan multiple times to say I needed chocolate (he questioned it, but brought some anyway). Once in awhile I think it would be nice to just unload all my stress, and guess what?!? I can! God is there no matter what time of day always willing to listen and always ready to calm me down. The problem is I forget. I would rather complain to Ryan then take my problems to God. I mean really God has given me so much, so part of the time I feel like complaining is being ungrateful for all that I have. What I need to remember (as I am sure many do) that God never promised that life would be easy, he just promised to be there for us every step of the way. Last night I laid down on the floor from sheer exhaustion, but guess what God picked me up, we had dinner, another long night, and the next day I woke up and did it all again. I am quite certain that God is carrying me right now, because there is no way that I am this strong by myself.
Motherhood is the hardest job you will ever love, but as true as this is there are days that I don't feel like I love this job, there are days when I am mean, hard to love, and I don't like myself very much. But guess what God is still there and he is waiting for me to come back and listen to him. I am trying very hard to be better at the craziness that is homeschooling, 4 kids, a husband, a budget, and trying to move to simplify life: but WOW! Lets just say that I am going to keep turning to God and hopefully Ryan will keep bringing me chocolate :)
This week alone I texted Ryan multiple times to say I needed chocolate (he questioned it, but brought some anyway). Once in awhile I think it would be nice to just unload all my stress, and guess what?!? I can! God is there no matter what time of day always willing to listen and always ready to calm me down. The problem is I forget. I would rather complain to Ryan then take my problems to God. I mean really God has given me so much, so part of the time I feel like complaining is being ungrateful for all that I have. What I need to remember (as I am sure many do) that God never promised that life would be easy, he just promised to be there for us every step of the way. Last night I laid down on the floor from sheer exhaustion, but guess what God picked me up, we had dinner, another long night, and the next day I woke up and did it all again. I am quite certain that God is carrying me right now, because there is no way that I am this strong by myself.
Motherhood is the hardest job you will ever love, but as true as this is there are days that I don't feel like I love this job, there are days when I am mean, hard to love, and I don't like myself very much. But guess what God is still there and he is waiting for me to come back and listen to him. I am trying very hard to be better at the craziness that is homeschooling, 4 kids, a husband, a budget, and trying to move to simplify life: but WOW! Lets just say that I am going to keep turning to God and hopefully Ryan will keep bringing me chocolate :)
Monday, January 30, 2012
Motherhood Fun :)
So for today's post I will post the funnier side of motherhood, but don't worry I will give you the good, the bad, and the just plain crappy soon enough ;)
Faith is teething, which is exciting, funny, and quite painful for some of us. She will be nursing nicely and then all the sudden stop, smile, and bite the **** out of me. So I say "NO NO don't bite mommy", which makes her laugh. Ugh, really already you are defying me?!?!?!
Mason told me the other day that if he was a monster he would eat me and not his dad because with Dad he would just get meat, with me he would get meat and milk (a complete meal). I guess that means I am a value meal.
For those of you who haven't heard, Jodie's favorite movie is Soul Surfer (if you haven't seen this movie go right now and rent it! It is that good!!!). However, I am more than a little disturbed by the fact that my 4 year old's favorite part is when the shark bites the girl's arm off. She loves that part, and now acts it out almost daily. She also threatened to hit me if I talked about her big buddy Uncle Tommy (I think Aunt Erin better watch her back).
Ryley is our conversationalist. You ask her what she learned at school and she says "nothing". You ask her how gymnastics was "fine". You ask her anything at all and chances are you are going to be getting a one word answer (but never fear, Jodie will talk your ear off, so usually she just answers for Ryley). The other day one of the Mom's at gymnastics said her daughter had asked Ryley if she wanted to come to their house and Ryley of course said no. I told the Mom that Ryley had never said anything to us. I thought that kids didn't start keeping things from their parents until they were teens.
Conversations and funny moments like these happen daily at the Silverwood house, which is good because as you will soon see it is not always funny here.
Faith is teething, which is exciting, funny, and quite painful for some of us. She will be nursing nicely and then all the sudden stop, smile, and bite the **** out of me. So I say "NO NO don't bite mommy", which makes her laugh. Ugh, really already you are defying me?!?!?!
Mason told me the other day that if he was a monster he would eat me and not his dad because with Dad he would just get meat, with me he would get meat and milk (a complete meal). I guess that means I am a value meal.
For those of you who haven't heard, Jodie's favorite movie is Soul Surfer (if you haven't seen this movie go right now and rent it! It is that good!!!). However, I am more than a little disturbed by the fact that my 4 year old's favorite part is when the shark bites the girl's arm off. She loves that part, and now acts it out almost daily. She also threatened to hit me if I talked about her big buddy Uncle Tommy (I think Aunt Erin better watch her back).
Ryley is our conversationalist. You ask her what she learned at school and she says "nothing". You ask her how gymnastics was "fine". You ask her anything at all and chances are you are going to be getting a one word answer (but never fear, Jodie will talk your ear off, so usually she just answers for Ryley). The other day one of the Mom's at gymnastics said her daughter had asked Ryley if she wanted to come to their house and Ryley of course said no. I told the Mom that Ryley had never said anything to us. I thought that kids didn't start keeping things from their parents until they were teens.
Conversations and funny moments like these happen daily at the Silverwood house, which is good because as you will soon see it is not always funny here.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Waiting!
I don't like waiting. I am not a patient person when I am asked to wait. I am similar to my children who want everything to happen, right now. It bugs me when I am made to wait, and yet I find myself having to wait a lot. There is a song with the line "waiting on a woman", well in our family that line is not true. If you ask my children who we have to wait on you will hear "Daddy, he is always the last one in the car". Now sometimes that is because he is the last one to get in the shower, and other times, well lets just say he can be easily distracted :)
I also find myself having to wait while little girls have to change clothes no less that 20 times before leaving the house (which I find myself having to do too ha ha ha) or waiting while they put their shoes on wrong, or waiting for them to find their coat, or their hat, or something they feel is important to take. When we go to the store I have to wait for everyone to get their coats on, and then wait for them to figure out which door to get out of, and then wait while they look at everything or weigh each bag of fruit that we buy. I am learning to be patient with my children because while I am waiting for them, they are typically learning something. Which foot to put their shoe on, how to put things away so they can be found quickly, how to zip their coat, what the names of all the fruits and vegetables are (this is one of their favorite things to do at the store!). So waiting for the children is becoming second nature, but waiting on God, ugh, that is not second nature. As you all know we are searching and searching for property because we want to get out of our neighborhood. I know that when the time is right God will provide the right piece of property. But I don't want to wait, I feel like the spoiled child who wants to throw themselves in the floor and scream "I WANT IT NOW!" But just like that child I know that it won't do any good. I know God's timing is much more important than my impatience. So for now I must wait. But in the end I believe that God will provide, in his time, according to his plan. But wow I really do want this dream NOW :)
I also find myself having to wait while little girls have to change clothes no less that 20 times before leaving the house (which I find myself having to do too ha ha ha) or waiting while they put their shoes on wrong, or waiting for them to find their coat, or their hat, or something they feel is important to take. When we go to the store I have to wait for everyone to get their coats on, and then wait for them to figure out which door to get out of, and then wait while they look at everything or weigh each bag of fruit that we buy. I am learning to be patient with my children because while I am waiting for them, they are typically learning something. Which foot to put their shoe on, how to put things away so they can be found quickly, how to zip their coat, what the names of all the fruits and vegetables are (this is one of their favorite things to do at the store!). So waiting for the children is becoming second nature, but waiting on God, ugh, that is not second nature. As you all know we are searching and searching for property because we want to get out of our neighborhood. I know that when the time is right God will provide the right piece of property. But I don't want to wait, I feel like the spoiled child who wants to throw themselves in the floor and scream "I WANT IT NOW!" But just like that child I know that it won't do any good. I know God's timing is much more important than my impatience. So for now I must wait. But in the end I believe that God will provide, in his time, according to his plan. But wow I really do want this dream NOW :)
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Battle of the Cats
I won I won I won :) Okay so not really, but we passed the number 4 today and we are moving on to the number 5. So some of you may be thinking HUH!?!?! Let me explain: Recently Jodie has been doing some school work while the big kids are doing theirs. I have never pushed the issue and I always wait until she asks for her work and I allow her to put her work away when she wants to. A few weeks ago (I honestly have lost count!) we came to a page that had cats on it. Her instructions said to color 4 cats. There were two rows of cats because the first row was the example, so it had 5 cats, 4 of which were colored. She was supposed to color 4 of the 5 on the second row. However, Jodie decided she wanted to color 3 on the second row and the 1 that wasn't colored in the first row. Now I know some of you are thinking okay so what let her color 4 and be done. But I am trying really hard to get her to follow directions so while I could care less which 4 cats were colored the directions said to color 4 cats in the second row and by golly that was what she needed to do. Which is why today when she finally colored that 4th cat in the 2nd row I wanted to scream and yell HOORAY!!!!!! Crazy how coloring cats could be so important to my happiness :)
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Hello God I am listening.
This week at church the sermon was on God's calling. For those of you who do not believe in God, or who wish not to read about religious ideas stop now :) For the rest of you read on.
In children's church we talked about God's calling, and listening for God's voice. The question was asked has God ever spoken to you (either in a dream, or directly, or just a feeling you might have had). The kids are always super creative with their answers and this Sunday was no different. One made up a dream, one said that God provides comfort when she is sad, and a couple said God talks to them when they are getting ready to do something they shouldn't. After church Ryan gave me the insert from the bulletin to read and again it was on God's calling for our lives, and how to determine what is a calling and what is created in our own minds.
Two criteria: a. is it something you feel you have to do, b. is it helping to make the world a better place. If you can say yes to both of these then you are probably following God's calling, if not then it may be time to reassess.
I feel like God "talks" with me a lot. Sometimes I choose to listen and follow, which is always the smartest and easiest choice. Sometimes I choose to put my fingers in my ears and say "I'm not listening, I'm not listening", which always ends up the way God had planned it, it just takes longer, and sometimes the road is bumpy! For example, when God said "home school your kids", I said "no way!!!". I was like Moses, and made every excuse in the book, don't pick me, choose someone else. However, God has a funny way of getting around my stupidity and getting me to follow him even if I don't want to. I have always felt like my "calling" was to be a wife and a mother. I have always wanted a family ever since I can remember. I didn't just want the fairy tale, I wanted the work, and the stress, and the entire life. I went to college just to pass the time until I could have a family, I took a job as a teacher again just to pass time. But in the end I knew that I wanted to be a stay at home Mom and I have to say it has been one of the best decisions Ryan and I made. Which makes me think that this is where God wants me right now. This is not to say that every day is amazing and wonderful, but God never promised life would be easy!
I also feel that God is moving us in this new direction in our lives. We have talked about moving for years and years, but it isn't until right now that it just feels right. It feels like everything is moving us/ pushing us in this direction. Some people still look at us as we are strange. I mean how many people say "well we are going to put our house on the market, we have no idea where we are going or if we can truly afford it, but we are going to trust God to work this out." However, we feel in our bones that this is the best for our family right now. So we shall see where God decides to put us, and what he holds for our future. What I can say for today is that I am beyond excited to be following his path, and I am super happy for the direction our family is going!
In children's church we talked about God's calling, and listening for God's voice. The question was asked has God ever spoken to you (either in a dream, or directly, or just a feeling you might have had). The kids are always super creative with their answers and this Sunday was no different. One made up a dream, one said that God provides comfort when she is sad, and a couple said God talks to them when they are getting ready to do something they shouldn't. After church Ryan gave me the insert from the bulletin to read and again it was on God's calling for our lives, and how to determine what is a calling and what is created in our own minds.
Two criteria: a. is it something you feel you have to do, b. is it helping to make the world a better place. If you can say yes to both of these then you are probably following God's calling, if not then it may be time to reassess.
I feel like God "talks" with me a lot. Sometimes I choose to listen and follow, which is always the smartest and easiest choice. Sometimes I choose to put my fingers in my ears and say "I'm not listening, I'm not listening", which always ends up the way God had planned it, it just takes longer, and sometimes the road is bumpy! For example, when God said "home school your kids", I said "no way!!!". I was like Moses, and made every excuse in the book, don't pick me, choose someone else. However, God has a funny way of getting around my stupidity and getting me to follow him even if I don't want to. I have always felt like my "calling" was to be a wife and a mother. I have always wanted a family ever since I can remember. I didn't just want the fairy tale, I wanted the work, and the stress, and the entire life. I went to college just to pass the time until I could have a family, I took a job as a teacher again just to pass time. But in the end I knew that I wanted to be a stay at home Mom and I have to say it has been one of the best decisions Ryan and I made. Which makes me think that this is where God wants me right now. This is not to say that every day is amazing and wonderful, but God never promised life would be easy!
I also feel that God is moving us in this new direction in our lives. We have talked about moving for years and years, but it isn't until right now that it just feels right. It feels like everything is moving us/ pushing us in this direction. Some people still look at us as we are strange. I mean how many people say "well we are going to put our house on the market, we have no idea where we are going or if we can truly afford it, but we are going to trust God to work this out." However, we feel in our bones that this is the best for our family right now. So we shall see where God decides to put us, and what he holds for our future. What I can say for today is that I am beyond excited to be following his path, and I am super happy for the direction our family is going!
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